The Payez Family

Well a few things have been happening around the Payez household recently.  Firstly, against the wishes of our parents, we got the girls’ ears pierced.  I know what many of you are thinking but after researching the subject to death and asking around, I also agreed with Justin (who wanted it done to begin with!) It really was no big deal…yes they both fussed but only for about 3 minutes and then they were back to their smiling, happy selves.  And they do look pretty darn cute, though they will look much much cuter once they actually get some more hair. 

And onto their check-up.  Well it went really well (or so I originally had thought.)  They were weighed and measured as usual which I was especially anxious for.  Mady weighed in at 12 lbs. and is 24 inches long while Savannah topped the scale at 14 lbs. and is also 24 inches long.  I will have you know that 2 lbs. is a lot of difference when they are they same length!!! Mommy’s little piggy!  BUT I am so happy to have such healthy and thriving babies.  And Dr. Mitchell says Savannah is perfectly in the middle of the average while Mady is slightly under average but no big deal.  Then came the hard part…the second set of shots.  I really thought that after the first set went so well and getting their ears pierced was so easy that this would be too.  NOPE!  They each got 3 more shots in their thighs which of course made them turn beet red and scream, but it was the after affects that have been so hard.  Tonight I went to my parents house to help my dad with his iPod and they were just soo incredibly un-soothable, for lack of a better word.  Usually they fuss a bit because they want picked up or played with or their diaper changed but tonight their was no consoling them.  My mom, who usually proves to be an excellent calming-aid even failed in her attempts.  SO after an hour or so, I just came home and laid on the living room floor with them and gave them some baby tylenol, which seemed to help a bit.  After they calmed down some I fed them their night-time bottle and off to the bath we went.  Well the bath went great with Mady, she actually smiled…until Mommy did a horribly stupid thing.  I went to put lotion on her (as I do every night) and rubbed her thighs.  BIG BIG BIG mistake–I very obviously hurt my poor little pumpkin and I thought she was going to hyperventilate.  So after about 45 minutes of walking her and making amends I put her in my bed as I bathed Savannah (which went well because I made her remind me…no lotion!) Needless to say, I feel horrible and they are now both beside me sound asleep.  Poor little things, they definitely had a rough day.  Little do they know that the best day of the year is just around the corner and we are in for an incredible Christmas.  Speaking of which, I am so excited…tomorrow I am going to bake Christmas cookies with Kelley while Justin watches the girls!  YAY!  And everyone comes into town tomorrow night as well (can you tell I am excited?)  Off to bed I go to join my darling girls.  Have a VERY merry and safe Christmas!!!!

It was December 15th of last year that we made the final step in our journey to becoming pregnant.  I remember it like it was this morning and my 3 little embryos were transferred from their petri dish into their real-life incubator–ME.  With Justin holding my hand, we watched as they were injected into my uterus and looking back I am overcome with emotion.  I am a rollercoaster of emotions as I finally read the final chapter in a book I held near and dear for so long.  “Unsung Lullabies-Understanding and Coping with Infertility.”  That last chapter was titled “After you have done all you can you, you must know when enough is enough” and IVF was my enough.  Those who have children easily could never understand what it feels like to go through the struggle of infertility.  In the book, you get to pick your ending.  Lucky for us, we got to skip to “Parenting after infertility.”  The author says it so well…”Although becoming a parent will not erase the trauma you have experiences, it does help you begin healing some of the wounds caused by your experience.  So long excluded from the ‘club,’ you can now breathe a sigh of relief; you finally have joined the ranks of your contemporaries, your elders, and what has sometimes seemed like the rest of the world, as parents.”  No longer do I feel inadequate or like a failure that I couldn’t give Justin a child.  Today marks the anniversary of the beginning of the best years of our lives.  It is so heartbreaking for me when I know of someone who is going through what we went through, and I just want to scream to these people that there are ways, and they must do everything in their power to make their dream become a reality.  And in some strange way, I am grateful.  I feel that God does work in mysterious ways.  I will never take my children for granted and when they are screaming and I feel like I will melt if I change another diaper, I think back to the days when I sat and thought about what my life would be like if I were to never have children….and I cry.  It is because of this great pain that I feel so much joy…I swear no woman ever loved a child like I love mine.  I know of a few people who read my blog who are going through this pain and I want to tell you that the end does justify the means.