The Payez Family

Most of you already know this by now, but I jinxed myself a few posts back.

I REALLY AM PREGNANT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! NOT JOKING!

I was feeling kind of queasy one day and surprisingly the past few months I had been getting my period on a very regular basis and then discovered that I was a week late. So one night at 10:30 after the girls were in bed I made a trip to walmart to get a pregnancy test, JUST TO EASE MY MIND. Well imagine my surprise when I saw the pregnant line before I was even done peeing on the thing. I literally jumped to my feet and ran with shaking hands to the living room to show Justin. He of course didn’t believe me (did I really believe it myself?) Well needless to say, 10 home tests, 3 blood tests (the last one being over 29,000 miu hcg) and 3 ultrasounds (one which we heard and saw a heartbeat)….I think it’s safe to say we are expecting baby #3! Now of course, I am only about 9 weeks along and anything can happen. I have to keep telling myself it’s never a sure thing. We ordered another doppler rental and should get it in a few days, that will definitely help ease my mind. I will update again soon when we know more!!!!

http://www.ferringfertility.com/mylittlemiracle/archive/2008/payez.asp

Well there is my essay for the world to read!

Also, someone from Ferring called me last week and asked if I could be interviewed and recorded for a video they are putting together concerning the medicines that I took. Of course I said yes and had my interview today. It went well and I am looking forward to seeing what comes of it. Anything I can do to help someone else that was in my position is the least I can do.

The twins are absolutely amazing. I swear everyday there is no way I could love them any more than I do at that moment, and yet each day they prove me wrong. They are so full of life and their personalities are just incredible. They are really starting to communicate with people other than eachother and that’s fascinating. They understand what I tell them and ask them and find a way to give me an answer. We are so looking forward to a fun-filled summer and doing lots of fun things like go to the zoo. I will post some pictures when I can and will try to update more often.

Here are some pics from Easter!

It has been WAYYYY too long since I blogged last. I hope I haven’t lost any readers, but I can only do so much. Mady and Savannah are just too adorable for words and BUSY BUSY BUSY. It is so hard to keep up with them and they are in the phase where they continually pick on eachother. Someone is always getting bitten…sometimes me! Christmas was a success, Santa was very generous with the girls this year and I think they were a little taken aback when they came down the stairs on Christmas morning (well, when we brought them down…it hasn’t been THAT long!) Not too much has happened since then….this is the time of year that I despise…I know Spring is coming, I am just waiting for it. I have undergone some changes myself recently…started working part-time for my dad in January and I really am enjoying it. Working with/for family can be difficult but we are so much alike that I think it is going to be a really good thing for both of us. I also had lap-band surgery in late January. It has been a challenge (much like everything else in my life) but I think the ends will justify the means. My weight has gone up and down so many times, and that has really taken it’s toll on me, emotionally. Just like I am bitter with people who are able to get pregnant so easily, I am also bitter with people who are thin and don’t even worry about their diet. And don’t even get me started on the skinny fertile ones….that’s just too harsh to think about. But I have lost 36 pounds to date since my consultation in December, and 25 since the surgery. I am pretty much back to normal now, eating solid foods again (I was on liquids for WAY too long) and my eating habits are a 180 degree difference from before surgery. I want control of my life, and am starting with my weight. This is something that has been nagging at me since puberty probably and I am ready to put it behind me and move on. While I know this will always be a battle, I want it to be something that I am in control of. Anyway, enough about myself!

And on to the big news………I’m PREGNANT again!!!

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JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get back on your chair now, and read the rest of this post.

The big news is really that MY BABIES ARE GOING TO PRESCHOOL THIS FALL. It’s a 2 year old program but still, this is the first of many steps up in their education. I can’t even fathom the idea of preschool but I think its just a great thing. They will be socializing with kids other than eachother and making friends and learning about themselves and I am very excited about it…nostalgic, but excited. It’s 2 days a week for an hour and a half at our church. It’s the same place where I went and the director of the preschool was my first teacher way back in the day. It’s just another milestone in a line of many to come.

So that’s about it for now, I suppose. I am really going to try and get some pictures up from December until now. Thanks for being faithful readers and sticking in with me!

I love my Mady!

Last but certainly not least, Savannah giving the camera a very cute little grin!

I always wondered (and still do) about how children pick up their native language so easily. I just can’t imagine going to another country and picking up on the language like that. But it’s just amazing. Madyson has been saying words for a while now as I have said, but the other day before I left for work, I was putting on my coat to leave and Savannah said “buh bye, Momma!” Talk about surprised! They always wave to Justin when he leaves at night and have just recently picked up that the wave is associated with bye bye, so now they wave and say buh bye (well actually it’s more Savannah that does it which is surprising since Mady talks the most). Just goes to show you how different children of the same age can be.

The past few nights have been very difficult. Since I started working part-time for Christmas, I am not as able to get up a lot in the night as I do when I don’t work. It’s very heartwarming actually, I think that they just don’t feel good because of their molars coming in and Savannah just really wants me there with her. I rock her (which is getting really hard to do…she’s getting so big) and she yawns and looks so content just being with me. And I am just content watching her sleep but I have been getting so tired I have to get some sleep when I can. It breaks my heart because she wakes up instantly when I put her down and reaches for me. I have to let her cry it out sometimes…she always falls back asleep but it makes me feel horrible. I can’t put her in my bed because number 1, she won’t sleep…she’ll just stand on my pillow and look out that window while jumping up and down, and number 2, she rolls all over and will fall off if she ever did fall asleep.

They are on the brink of turning 16 months old…holy cow. It was 2 years ago that I was enduring daily needles and literally putting all my eggs in one basket. I never in a million years imagined that my life could be so fulfilled by those two precious babies. Of course, I get frustrated…every day. Twins are not easy by any stretch but there are WAY more good times than stressful ones. I am still so in love, I know I always will be…..forever.

Where do I even begin? It has been so long since I have posted I don’t remember what has happened. The twins are amazingly busy right now; this is by far, the most difficult stage so far. They are tall enough to reach onto counters, tables, cabinets, etc. and pull anything and everything that they desire into their reach. This makes life interesting, that’s for sure. Never a dull, or quiet moment as long as they are awake. They are 15 months now which seems just insane. We were supposed to go back to Dr. Mitchell a few weeks ago but his wife had their baby a month early so we had to reschedule for the week before Christmas. I am desperate to see how much they weigh and how tall they are. But they are just so amazing! While I say this is the most difficult stafe, it’s also very heartwarming. They are totally interacting with eachother, holding hands, playing, and of course biting, pushing, and the other fun stuff. But when one is upset, the other is there to offer a hug which they love to do now and I swear just thinking about them comforting eachother makes me well up. We have so much fun discovering new things together as a family. Putting the Christmas tree up this year felt like it did when I was a kid. They were so amazed that this tree just grew right in the middle of our house. So far they haven’t bothered it too much though their aren’t any ornaments yet because we are testing the water.

As for milestones let’s see: Savannah is starting to cut molars (YIKES) and is starting to squat when she…….uh hem…well you get it. So I think Santa is bringing us a potty this year, how exciting. Mady is advancing in totally different ways: she is getting some more teeth but none as much as her sister, she says “pop” or “papa” meaning poppy or papaw, can understand “dadda” in picures, loves “kitty” and “tux” (All dogs are tux, because that is the name of Justin’s parents dog). We are virtually off the bottle and onto sippies except for a podee of water at night that I leave in their cribs (I get thirsty at night so they might too)! We are eating lots of solid foods now but they still don’t take to milk, not that I blame them. I HATE milk, always have. But I realize that they (especially Mady) need the fat so I make their oatmeal with milk in the morning and before bed, and disguise it with some pureed fruit. That’s only 8 oz. a day when I would really like them to have 16 but it’s better than nothing.

The blog has been majorly spammed. I used to get a few comments here and there that were spam, but now I have about 3000 that need moderated. So I will probably turn the comment feature off and possibly require a password to view the blog. I really hate to do it, but I don’t like spam. I will let you know how it ends up. Sorry to have been lacking recently, but I started working part time for Christmas and it really is difficult even just to leave for 8 or 12 hours a week. It totally has gotten me out of my groove. I will try to do better, but here is a small update for now! Thanks for reading!!

For those who watch Oprah, you already saw this. But if you haven’t seen it, watching it might make you count your blessings. I had a very rough day with the girls today. They were cranky because we were inside all day due to the frigid weather. They were into EVERYTHING, picking on eachother, and really testing me. I kept cool but inside I was waiting for my time after they were in bed. The first thing I did was sit down to watch Oprah and this video was shown. Right as it was over, as if on cue, Mady started crying. I couldn’t get up the steps fast enough. I was so happy to be holding my healthy child…I did something that I haven’t done in a while…I rocked and cried. I have missed my moments like this and it’s nice to be reminded that it could have turned out differently. I am so incredibly blessed and I thank God for this gift he has given us. I remember what it’s like to cherish every single day….I did that for virtually my entire pregnancy, and still today; at night before I fall asleep even if it’s only those two words that I say “thank you,” it’s my last thought. Anyway, prepare yourself.

I went to Charlotte last weekend to visit my sister and go to my old friend, Kat’s grandfathers; 95th birthday celebration. Mady had a cold and was miserable so the first night was LONG and sleepless. Going out of town without Justin is so hard right now. But the party was very fun and the girls were a delight so it was a successful venture. And to update on the essay contest….Justin called me on my way to NC and told me that a certified letter came from Ferring. No I did not win the big one, but I did get honorable mention! And I am very excited about it. I have been writing for literally as long as I can remember but this was the first time I had ever entered a writing contest of any sort. So the girls won a $500 scholarship…I can’t complain! Not only will my story get out there to help other women going through what I went through, but I will get to start a fund for the girls to get a college education. They are contacting Dr. McGinnis’ office to arrange for a ceremony where they will give us our prize and so forth. Anyway, it may not be a huge deal, but I am enormously proud!

I normally do not talk about, write about, or even try to think about politics or the horrible things that are happening in this world. I figure that unless I am totally educated on a subject, I can’t have an accurate opinion–and because I try to stay away from world news I don’t really have much of an opinion. But lately I have been letting myself slip into the current politics…or at least the issues that are important to me. Not for the sake of voting because, I am ashamed to say, I do not vote. And the reason I don’t vote is the same reason…I am not educated enough to know who I really want in any particular office. After hearing some debates and letting my curiosity get the best of me I really wish I was just ignorant. I ran across something called the “Induced Infant Liability Act” and the “Born Alive Infant Protection Act.” These bills would have protected babies that were induced prematurely for the sake of an abortion (partial birth abortion). For example, a woman gets an abortion at 25 weeks but the baby is born alive. Under this act, these babies would try to be resuscitated rather than dying a slow death unwanted, and alone. BUT instead these babies are taken to a room where they are wrapped up and left to die. Well I learned that Obama fought against both of these bills. And I have not educated myself enough to find out whether or not the bill passed on a federal level but you can bet I am going to learn as much about the subject as I can. I wrote this to put the word out and try to get other people interested, but also just to make myself feel better. I am just devastated by the thought of this. One more way being a mother has dramatically changed me. Here is a good link to check out…I also saw a video but I don’t want to share it….it made me way too emotional.

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=18647

Like I said, I don’t normally share my political views but this is a given.

Lindsay got married exactly 1 month ago and she was a stunning bride (as I knew she would be). Here are some pics….

Aunt Lindsay with her flower girls…